The Day I Realized I Was the Problem

I still remember the first time a retail coach told me selling payroll should be 10% of my sales.

I thought, that’s not possible. My team was already working so hard. How could I possibly get them to do more?

So I did what so many of us do. I decided I’d just help. I jumped in, finished things, and filled in the gaps.

And here’s what happened. My team started doing about 90% of the work and counting on me to finish the rest. Because I always did.

I had four kids and three stores. I wanted my weekends back. And without meaning to, I was stopping my team from growing.

If you’ve ever hired a manager so you could finally step out of the day-to-day, and then found yourself double checking their work, answering every question, and more tired than when you did it all yourself, this one is for you.

I sat down with April Sabral, who has spent thirty years leading retail teams at Apple, Starbucks, Gap, Banana Republic, and David’s Tea. She went from running one store to leading more than 300. She’s the founder of Ripple Leadership, and she said something I need you to hear: the thought that nobody can run your store as well as you can is exactly why your managers aren’t leading.

“It’s Faster If I Do It Myself” Is Keeping You Stuck

When April and I met at the Retail Success Summit, there were cards on the tables with the thoughts store owners carry around. The card almost everyone picked up said: it’s faster if I do it myself.

Of course it is. Today. But that thought keeps you doing the same tasks over and over, and it keeps you on the floor for good.

April knows there’s another way because she lived it. One store, then 15, then 60, then 350. In her words: “It can be done. And I’ve done it.”

The lesson: Faster today is slower forever. Every time you do it yourself, you push back the day your team can do it without you.

Your People Are an Investment, Not an Expense

This is where I want to challenge you, friend. We spend money on products because we have to sell them. We spend money renovating our stores. We call those investments.

But our people? We call them an expense. April said it plainly: if you see your people as a line expense, you will never pour money into developing them.

Margin is only margin when it gets to the register. And who gets it there? Your team.

April shared that when people are motivated, inspired, and have the skills to do their job, you get effort you can’t buy with a raise. They do it because they want to.

And training managers isn’t as expensive as you think. Skip the Friday bagels for a few months. Set a little aside. You’ll find the money.

The lesson: The mindset that won’t invest in your team is costing you far more than the training ever would.

You’re Training Them Not to Trust Themselves

This one stung when April said it, because I had lived it.

When you rescue your team at the end of every task, you’re training them to rely on you for every answer. You’re teaching them that you don’t trust them. And people do what they see modeled.

April has been there too. As a store manager at Banana Republic with three assistant managers and about 40 people, she was the Google of her store. Her director told her that if she kept it up, she would never get out of her store.

She thought she was supporting them. But supporting them in what? Doing things for them only left them less skilled and more afraid.

The lesson: Helping isn’t always helping. Sometimes the most supportive thing you can do is step back and let them try.

Ask the Question That Changes Everything

So what do you do instead? April’s answer is one simple question:

“What would you do if I wasn’t here?”

The next time someone brings you a problem, don’t jump in with the answer. Ask that. Then listen.

They might hesitate at first. Keep asking. Then compare their answer to what you would do. Wherever there’s a gap, that’s where you coach.

When I started doing this in my own stores, everything shifted. I could finally see what my team understood instead of assuming.

The lesson: Stop assuming and start asking. The gap between their answer and yours is your coaching plan.

Your Team Can Only Rise as High as You Do

April is a John Maxwell coach, and she shared his idea of the leadership lid. If your leadership is at a five, your team will be at a three. Raise yourself to a seven, and they rise to a five.

That means if your payroll is running at 20% or your sales aren’t where you want them, the first place to look is the mirror. It’s a hard pill to swallow. I know. But it’s also good news, because the change starts with something you control.

April has read thousands of exit interviews. The top two reasons people leave? They don’t feel their manager cares about them. And they aren’t getting training or development.

The lesson: Your team will only be as good as you are. Raise your lid, and you raise theirs.

Stop Telling and Start Coaching

I hear this all the time: “Cathy, I have team meetings. I’ve told them a hundred times. What am I doing wrong?”

April’s answer: you’re just telling. If your meeting is the goal, the to-do list, and a few updates, it could have been a text message.

She teaches three ways to communicate with your team:

I’m a math girl, so I loved this. One question, then four times as much listening.

Try questions like “Tell me more” or “What were you thinking when you made that decision?” A “what” question feels so much less like judgment than “Why did you do that?”

April also has a challenge I can’t stop thinking about: take “I,” “me,” and “mine” out of your language for 24 hours. Most of us can’t do it. Your job is to get other people talking.

The lesson: If only you are talking, your team isn’t engaged. Get them speaking, and you’ll get them leading.

A Five-Minute Huddle With Just One Person

“But Cathy, it’s just me and one other person on the floor.” I hear you. April ran David’s Tea, with 500-square-foot stores and one person on shift. This works with two people.

Start with the connection: “What are you grateful for today?” Then move into the day. What’s a win from this week? What’s one thing you’re not confident in that I could teach you today? Here’s our goal, so how should we split it up?

April compares it to an actor warming up before a show. When you’re on the sales floor, you’re performing.

Think about how we greet customers. We want their guard to come down so we can have a real conversation. Your team is the same. And if someone shrugs at your questions at first, keep going. You’re changing your culture, and that doesn’t happen overnight.

The lesson: Connection comes first, even in a five-minute huddle with one person.

Tell Your Team What You’re Doing

If you’ve always run things one way, suddenly asking four questions in a huddle might feel strange. To you and to them.

April’s advice is to just tell them. Say you’re working on your coaching skills, that your meetings are going to change, and that you want their ideas. Set the new expectation out loud.

As April put it, there’s nothing wrong with that kind of transparency. It makes you more human.

The lesson: Your team can’t follow a change they don’t know is happening. Say it out loud.

“I Don’t Have Time for This”

I know someone just thought it. April’s answer was short: “Do you want your business to be successful?”

And this is where AI comes in. April sees AI as a way to shrink the hours you spend on admin. It can organize your files, write your SOPs, and help you analyze your financials. The time you get back goes to your people.

Even better, using AI well builds the same skill as leading well: asking good questions. Stuck? Tell it you’re stuck, and ask it another question.

What AI can’t do is give your team member a hug, show empathy, or make someone feel seen and valued. That part is yours.

The lesson: The time you need to lead is already in your week. It’s hiding in the tasks you could hand off.

Use WIN for Hard Conversations

Most of us avoid conflict. April says a conversation only turns into a confrontation when we don’t have the words to say how we feel.

Her tool is an acronym called WIN:

For example: “When I’m left on the floor for hours, it makes me feel like I’m on my own. What I need is a way to reach you.” It’s calm and clear, and it doesn’t attack anyone.

April suggests writing it out a few times before the conversation. On paper, it already feels smaller.

The lesson: You don’t need to avoid hard conversations. You need the words to have them well.

Why This Matters for Your Store

Your team is not broken. You just haven’t known what else to do, so you’ve kept doing the same things and getting the same results.

Nobody teaches us leadership. It isn’t something you figure out once. It’s something you practice every single day.

If you want to grow past a million dollars, pay yourself well, and only be on the floor a day or two a week, this is the work. It starts in your head, and it ripples out to every person on your team and every customer who walks through your door.

Your Millie Moment: This Week, Do These Four Things

One question. One new huddle. One honest conversation. That’s how you start leading your leaders.

Resources & Links

💚 Remember: Your team is not broken. You just haven’t known what else to do. Leadership isn’t something anyone hands you. It’s something you practice, one question and one conversation at a time. Every time you step back and let your team step up, you’re building a store that can run without you and a life that finally has room for you. You are astonishingly fabulous, and you are loved.